Tag: Twitter

Musk ticks, three stripes and Ye’s out, RIP Her Maj and lions on the loose…

Posted on by SW

Since my last serving of steaming randomswill back in the year 1627, quite a bit has happened.

In no particular order…

Note the protestor glued to the side

Elon Musk bought Twitter and the world lost its mind. I enjoyed Stephen King negotiating with Musk on Twitter about the cost of a verified blue tick. He didn’t even need to send in Carrie or Cujo. Martina Navratilova served an ace straight down the middle with her reply to Musk that she didn’t ask for the blue tick, she won’t pay for it and her “peeps” know who she is.

Queen Elizabeth II died. (I’m not a fan of the softer “passed away” “or we lost…” Where? down the back of the lounge? Or worse, “crossed the rainbow bridge”. She died.) But I digress. I’m a staunch Australian republican and believe it’s high time the apron strings were severed and Australia finally had our own head of state. It’s ludicrous that in 2022 Australia’s head of state is a non-elected English person who just happened to have the brilliant luck (though not according to a certain Harry of California) of being born into the right family in a certain sibling order. Having said that, I admire the Queen’s amazing devotion to duty. Some of these snowflakes who want to WFH forever could take a leaf out of Her Majesty’s gilt-edged book.

To Kanye West or Ye or whatever he is calling himself today. Bravo to Adidas and the other companies who have dropped him quicker than he could make another appalling antisimetic remark. Three stripes and he’s out. I loved Stephen Colbert’s line about West’s Yeezy shoes looking like someone put a pair of Crocs in the microwave.

The UK is an absolute clusterfuck. Enough said.

Five lions had a Born Free moment after escaping from their enclosure at Sydney’s Taronga Zoo… into another enclosure. It seemed the media desperately wanted them to be prowling down nearby Military Road devouring Mozman-dahlings as they climbed into their Range Rovers with their half skim decaf soy macchiato made from Peruvian numbat milk. Didn’t happen. Somebody said on Twitter the lions saw the dire state of the Sydney property rental market and scarpered back to their enclosure, locking the gate behind them.

People are gluing themselves to things. Apparently this is to bring attention to climate change and the impact of fossil fuels. These are obviously very noble causes and ones that are vitally important to the future of the planet, but I’m not sure if gluing yourself to a road inconveniencing people trying to get to work, or more importantly urgently trying to get to a hospital, or gluing yourself to a priceless artwork is a great way to gain positive traction for your cause. I suggest these morons glue themselves to one of the aforementioned Elon Musk’s SpaceX rockets. That would deserve a tick.

©Steve Williams 2022

FFS World, It’s Zoolander, Lighten Up

Posted on by SW

Sadly, I have suspected for quite a few years that the world has entirely lost its sense of humour, and it was confirmed this week.

An apparent non-non-binary Benedict Cumberbatch

I was reading one of the furious flood of online news articles screaming in outrage about a scene in the new Zoolander 2 movie.

No, correct that, a scene in the trailer of the new Zoolander 2 movie. So people are taking umbrage at a movie that hasn’t even been released yet.

FFS world, lighten up.

Apparently some (and our emphasise some) of our LGBT friends and outraged kindred spirits supposedly acting on their behalf are frothing at the mouth that the new film is sexist and transphobic. Really? The pitchforks and flaming torches are being aimed at a ten second scene involving Benedict Cumberbatch playing an apparent androgynous-looking model being asked if he has a hot dog or a bun.

That’s it. You’re losing your mind and clambering to the moral high ground over that? Seriously?

In another article, some earnest and no doubt well-meaning type was rabbiting on that a non-binary model should have been cast to play the Cumberbatch role. I have no idea what “non-binary” means. Is it algebra? (I was probably in the sick bay feigning death when they taught that bit at school)

It becomes purely in the hands of the common people. tadalafil in india It might be purchase of levitra explained in a way that there are presences of the harmful cancerous cells that get circulated across this gland marking the significance of this truth was mentioned in1924 when Dr. It helps in preparing students who are new to driving for the upcoming written exam and discount price viagra frankkrauseautomotive.com road test. In the case of female infertility, since the causes are many, it is always better to see a spebuy levitra from canada t or other health proficient for conclusion. As I said, all this is over a ten second scene in a movie nobody has seen. The Champagne corks would be popping in the Paramount Pictures marketing towers thanks to the gazillion dollars in free publicity. There are even petitions to ban the film. Now that’s hilarious.

It’s been a fairly shit year. The heartbreaking plight of refugees fleeing the Middle East and Africa resulting in dead children washing up on beaches, commercial planes being blown out of the sky, ISIS goons throwing people off buildings because of their sexual preference, a Sydney police accountant being shot in the back of the head by a fifteen year old as he left work, not to mention the recent events in Paris that killed 130 people whose only crime was going out on a Friday night.

We could do with a laugh. If Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Benedict Cumberbatch can provide a few in a light comedy, offending a few easily-offended in the process, then so be it.

As a kid, I was brought up on a healthy diet of comedy — English imports like Monty Python, Dave Allen, The Goon Show, Fawlty Towers, Derek and Clive, and brilliant Australian productions including The Naked Vicar Show, Paul Hogan, Blankety Blanks, The D-Generation, Doug Mulray, Andrew Denton etc, etc. Yes a lot of it was crass, immature, challenging, totally politically incorrect and simultaneously f*cking hilarious. Maybe they have all affected my moral compass Bermuda Triangle style, but I doubt it.

What happened? When did we lose our sense of humour? When was a jihad waged on satire and comedy?

Today people want to be outraged. They want to be angry and vent on Twitter and Facebook and violently hammer the keyboard creating cranky online petitions.

All of this is totally fine. You just need to make sure you’re angry and outraged over the important stuff, not a ten second bit in a movie trailer.

©Steve Williams 2015

Foodporn — It’s already been shot, just eat it

Posted on by SW

When Frenchman Joseph Nicéphore Niépce shot the world’s first photograph in 1826, it was of the view out of his window, thankfully not of his coq au vin.

A restaurateur’s deterrent against food photography

Speaking of such meaty subjects, I’d like to discuss foodporn — amateur photographers recording their food for posterity instead of merely eating it. Today, if your phone isn’t equipped with a camera, you’re using iTroglodyte. That means basically everyone is a photographer — and this isn’t a good thing, especially when you’re trying to eat.

Amateur restaurant food photographers should be skewered, basted and lightly roasted. Instagram and Twitter have a lot to answer for. Why do you need to photograph your food before you eat it? Who are you going to show these badly composed, badly shot and badly shit photos to? Is the plan to bore your Facebook friends into a coma?

It is always a dining delight when the couple at the next table is photographing their fettuccine or shooting their shark fin soup. This is often undertaken with a ginormous SLR, emitting strobe flashes that illuminates the food and everyone in the vicinity like an atomic bomb has just detonated. If I wanted to book a table for two in an epileptic-fit-inducing lighthouse I would.
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That’s just the entree — for main you get to sit back and marvel at the elaborate production of the couple photographing each other eating said food. Are we talking foreplay to some 9½ Weeks inspired erotic food-feeding-frenzy? Hope the shark fin comes to life in the bedroom.

There was a hallelujah moment last year when New York restaurants started banning food photography. The usual “freedom of everything” suspects choked on their amuse–bouche in predictable outrage, but f. them — they should be skewered as well.

I’d take a photo of that.

©Steve Williams 2014

Disability v Gullibility

Posted on by SW

With great courage and wit, “Dave on Wheels” — a profoundly deaf quadriplegic stricken by Cerebral Palsy — touched the hearts of thousands on Twitter, becoming an internet and media celebrity — and then he died.

What a sick bastard.

No, not Dave, he never existed — it was all an elaborate deceit. The perpetrator of the hoax used the images of one Hunter Dunn who is very real, then created Dave, updating his Twitter feed with amusing asides as he faced his battles.

The website theChive reveals how the fabrication was unveiled by this Blogspot article  “Dave on Wheels Exposed”  —  it’s worth a read. When outed, Dave’s creator posted, “It’s possible that more damage has been done in your reveal than in the original deception”. Really? I call bullshit.
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Sounds like this moron is putting himself up as some deity for people to believe in to enhance their miserable lives. Hardly. He’s just a lowlife who has scammed thousands.
Not for money — far worse — their emotions.

The saga of Dave on Wheels (that line sounds like a really crap country song) raises an interesting point. Have we all become too gullible? Too sucked in by what’s posted on Facebook and Twitter? The ease in which “Dave” created numerous identities and strung along his Twitter followers and media outlets was quite staggering.

To quote numerous characters from the old Scooby Doo cartoon… “If only they used their power for good not evil.”

©Steve Williams 2012