Tag: tolerance

Goodbye Mr Crisps

Posted on by SW

So the other day I bought a packet of chips (or crisps depending on what
hemisphere you are in). Earth-shattering news indeed, but I was quite perturbed — nay, outraged – that it was only, at best, three quarters full.

Definitely not this many spuds in my pathetic excuse for a packet

This evil act of bastardry isn’t confined to chips / crisps — extensive research (a very cursory glance around the stupid market) revealed many items — primarily in the sugar confectionary aisle, guilty as charged. Why are we paying for air? I would understand that concept if one was to sashay into one of those placebonic Oxygen Bars — which I think were so 2008 — but from memory, pathetically-not-even-attempting-to-be-full packets of sliced fried potatoes weren’t part of their raison d’être (apologies — I’ve always wanted to use that in a sentence — and also oeuvre*).

These benefits are enough to make ED treatment with these soft versions. buy cialis https://pdxcommercial.com/property/517-main-street-oregon-city-oregon-97045/ The color of Kamagra pill is different that that of the viagra 20mg in india because it is the rule of nature and change always comes for good. In the diagnosis of prostatitis, B ultrasonic examination B ultrasonic examination is a kind generic viagra cheap of routine examination in the diagnosis many kinds of male diseases. So, buy levitra wholesale drink pomegranate juice regularly to get rid of ED. I know things in general seem to shrink as age advances — words, numbers, pant, tolerance, unmentionables — but I believe this chip conspiracy is an affront to society.

I also believe a class action lawsuit should be lodged immediately, preferably by one of those law firms that advertises on TV at 3.12am, between infomercials for a plethora of “fitness” products including the not dubious at all Shake Weight, the hilarious and no doubt extremely effective Hawaii Chair and other destined-to-be-landfill products, that swear blindly couch potatoes can morph into Hugh Jackman by sitting on their fat arses stuffing their corpulent faces full of said chips / crisps. You in?

*This is how you pronounce “oeuvre”.

©Steve Williams 2012

Going (Slightly) Gaga

Posted on by SW

So I became an honorary “Little Monster” for a few hours last night. Lady Gaga brought The Born This Way Ball to Singapore and without going into what is apparently called “paws up” mode (ask a hardcore Gaga fan, they’ll tell you), I have to say it was a brilliant show. This was one of the very early stops of the massive world tour before she heads to New Zealand, then Australia and the rest of the cosmos.

*This may not be an actual part of Gaga’s meat lounge

Love her or hate her, whether you think she’s some weird meat-dress wearing psycho Madonna wannabe who seems to constantly forget her bra, or the much revered “Mother Monster”, you have to admire her talent. Seriously.

Without getting into major spoiler territory, expect to see a unicorn, an elaborate medieval castle set that opens and closes revealing numerous scenes and characters kind of like Gothic Barbie on acid, a meat lounge, a Gaga / Max Headroom lovechild, a rather unique way of riding a motorbike, spectacular costumes (loved the manic bee-keeper outfit) with a mesmerising number of über-quick changes, exceptional choreography from Gaga and her sickeningly buff and talented troupe of dancers, an interesting flavour of sausages emerging from a meat grinder, a machine gun bra and… more. That is possibly selling the rather involved storyline a fraction short, but personally, I was there for the music, not so much the theatrics, but Gaga delivered that and then some.

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Then there’s that voice… her power and range is quite incredible, all while riding a unicorn, a motorbike, scaling the battlements of her castle, performing outrageously intricate and I-desperately-need-to-lie-down inducing dance moves — all a total lip-synching free zone — in her chats between songs she is literally trying to catch her breath. Speaking of songs, all her hits are there — Born This Way, Poker Face, Paparazzi, Judas, Hair, You and I, Edge of Glory, Marry The Night, Bad Romance, Alejandro (I’ve probably left out a couple) and all faithful to the originals — no bullshit Gregorian chant meets John Williamson weird-arse reworking because “I’m an artiste” here.

If you get a chance, buy a ticket to the Ball. You don’t see or hear talent like this every day (or a unicorn or meat lounge).

©Steve Williams 2012