Tag: Sydney

When AI f*cks up: or Why I shouldn’t play with dolls

Posted on by SW
Exhibit A – “…apart from giving me serious bonsai-d serial-killer vibes and adding about 37 years…”

So lemming-like I jumped on the social media bandwagon and created (or attempted to create) an AI Barbie-style doll of myself with ChatGPT.

DISCLAIMER: I have fully embraced AI. 

I’m not a decrepit dinosaur who thinks AI is going to kill us like Hal 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Though having said that, technology has tried to kill my wife and I numerous times.

Several times driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge the satellite navigation has ordered me to “TURN LEFT NOW!” as we were smack-bang in the middle of the bridge.

If I had followed its advice we would’ve become slightly wet. 

We have also been encouraged to drive straight into the wall of a tunnel.

My wife and I now call any satnav appliance or Siri “Sybil” after the book and TV film about a woman with 16 personalities.

*DISCLAIMER: I am not suggesting in any shape or form people burdened with multiple personalities try to get people to drive off the Sydney Harbour Bridge or harm anyone in any shape or form.

Phew. Got that in just in time.

I also don’t believe AI is going to take all of our jobs, leaving us in a zombie holocaust state.

Seriously, the possibilities of AI are endless and exciting.

As a writer, I view AI as a rather shiny tool in the shed… I use it for research, to brainstorm and refine my work. 

Perplexity is my go-to instead of Google to search for anything. You get succinct answers with references, as opposed to 92,000 random websites.

I might be old-school, but I never get AI to actually write anything.
That’s what I’m being paid to do, and (gets trumpet out to blow)AI just can’t do what I do……………….. yet.

So back to Barbie. I fired up ChatGPT aka Sybil, attached a photo and entered the prompt: 

“Create an action figure toy of the person in this photo. The figure should be a full figure and displayed in its original blister pack. Add accessories of an iMac, and old-fashioned postcards of Sydney, Singapore, Bangkok, Munich and Hong Kong. Add the name ‘Beef William’ at the top of the pack.”

Not too taxing, one would’ve thought… after all, ChatGPT is very good at calculating tariffs.

Your Honour, I present Exhibit A, the photo of my action figure.

First, the good-ish bits… apart from giving me serious bonsai-d serial-killer vibes and adding about 37 years and massive hands, Sybil did get the outfit right based on my photo and the iMac is correct. 

Now the hilarious bits.

Sybil mustn’t get out much. Having lived in Sydney, Singapore, Bangkok, Munich and Hong Kong, I thought I would include retro-looking postcards of each city.

That’s where the plan fell to the ground.

Sybil totally ignored Sydney and Bangkok. 

Singapore became “Snpnah”, which has a certain ring to it and a few correct letters.

She also added an apostrophe: “Singa’pore” which is actually how British people pronounce it… “Singa-pore”.

This is usually followed by a very colonial reference to “out there” and “the far east”, while sipping another Pimm’s.

The random tower Sybil added to the right of Marina Bay Sands just screams Snpnah.

“Munich” became “Munchn”. Maybe Sybil had eins beer too many at Oktoberfest, though it is close-ish to the German pronunciation, “München”.

She got “Hong Kong” right, but added a weird European vista. 

Bizarrely, “Beef William” is correct. 

“Beef William” is my alter-ego, the reason for which is another story… 

P.S. I asked AI to “get feedback on the content” of this piece and Sybil gave me some very helpful suggestions… in Spanish.

©Steve Williams 2025

A love letter to Sydney…

Posted on by SW

So. I’ve moved back to Sydney after living overseas since way back in 2005.

Looks like someone’s god is about to speak

Apart from family and friends, in no particularly order, here are a few things I’ve missed in almost 19 years living away… my Sydney love letter.

*Kookaburras… with the wombat, the kookaburra is a rather underrated Australian icon compared to the kangaroo and koala, but we kind of like it that way.

*The sky… the Sydney/Australian sky is absolutely breathtaking. That blue…

*The Harbour Bridge… although I’ve driven/trained/walked over the Bridge a gazillion times, it always feels like the first time. I often think of my grandmother who walked across the Bridge the day it opened on Saturday March 19, 1932, wearing an outfit she had specially made for the occasion. She even took her shoes off and carried them as her feet were hurting. Unheard of in 1932!

*Wendy Whiteley’s Secret Garden… but shhhhhh… don’t tell anyone.

*Sandstone… the look and texture. The “Sandstone Precinct” on Bridge St featuring the Lands and Education Department Buildings is one of my favourite parts of the city. The former Education Department building has been transformed into the stunning Capella Sydney hotel. 

*The Australian humour… irony, sarcasm… taking the piss. Love it.

*The Royal Botanic Garden Sydney… Sydney’s magnificent backyard. Though it could do with losing the word “Royal”.

*Rainbow Lorikeets… those random, screeching flashes of colour.

*The beaches… all of them… but I’m looking at you, Balmoral, Whale and Palm. Though I don’t love Balmoral when you hire a car on a scorching summer Saturday, get there at 7.45am, spend 40 minutes trying to find a parking with no luck. Peak Sydney.

*Food, glorious food. Sydney’s dining scene is incredible… from a succulent Chinese meal to any cuisine you can think of.

*The Sydney Cricket Ground… though I do miss the old scoreboard.

*Sydney ferries… the best way to travel. Being on a (Manly) ferry as it cuts its way to Circular Quay, or anywhere in Sydney Harbour is always a wonderful experience. But I do miss the old-school ferries.

*The Opera House… those pristine, sparkling white sails mask the controversy that marred the design and construction. It really is incredible… as are the performances I’ve seen inside.

*Seafood… a veritable smorgasbord. Just don’t come the raw prawn, er, mate.

*Australian wine… I’m rather un-Australian in that I’m not a beer drinker. It’s great living here and not having to pay a billionty dollars for brilliant Australian wine.

*The Elizabeth Street entrance to St. James station… the famed Château Tanunda neon sign has been there since 1926.

*Friendliness… going for an early morning walk and people nodding, saying “Morning”. You miss that.

*Sydney Harbour… absolutely every single thing about it.

*Hyde Park… smack bang in the CBD… the fig tree-lined avenues, the spectacular, mythical Archibald Fountain featuring Apollo, Diana and his mates.

*Taronga Zoo… definitely a zoo with a view.

*The kulcha… art galleries, theatres (special mention to the magnificent State Theatre and the vertigo-inducing Theatre Royal), museums, music venues… etc, etc.

As that old song by Tommy Leonetti goes, “My warm city of Sydney / I’ve never been away.”

©Steve Williams 2023

Musk ticks, three stripes and Ye’s out, RIP Her Maj and lions on the loose…

Posted on by SW

Since my last serving of steaming randomswill back in the year 1627, quite a bit has happened.

In no particular order…

Note the protestor glued to the side

Elon Musk bought Twitter and the world lost its mind. I enjoyed Stephen King negotiating with Musk on Twitter about the cost of a verified blue tick. He didn’t even need to send in Carrie or Cujo. Martina Navratilova served an ace straight down the middle with her reply to Musk that she didn’t ask for the blue tick, she won’t pay for it and her “peeps” know who she is.

Queen Elizabeth II died. (I’m not a fan of the softer “passed away” “or we lost…” Where? down the back of the lounge? Or worse, “crossed the rainbow bridge”. She died.) But I digress. I’m a staunch Australian republican and believe it’s high time the apron strings were severed and Australia finally had our own head of state. It’s ludicrous that in 2022 Australia’s head of state is a non-elected English person who just happened to have the brilliant luck (though not according to a certain Harry of California) of being born into the right family in a certain sibling order. Having said that, I admire the Queen’s amazing devotion to duty. Some of these snowflakes who want to WFH forever could take a leaf out of Her Majesty’s gilt-edged book.

To Kanye West or Ye or whatever he is calling himself today. Bravo to Adidas and the other companies who have dropped him quicker than he could make another appalling antisimetic remark. Three stripes and he’s out. I loved Stephen Colbert’s line about West’s Yeezy shoes looking like someone put a pair of Crocs in the microwave.

The UK is an absolute clusterfuck. Enough said.

Five lions had a Born Free moment after escaping from their enclosure at Sydney’s Taronga Zoo… into another enclosure. It seemed the media desperately wanted them to be prowling down nearby Military Road devouring Mozman-dahlings as they climbed into their Range Rovers with their half skim decaf soy macchiato made from Peruvian numbat milk. Didn’t happen. Somebody said on Twitter the lions saw the dire state of the Sydney property rental market and scarpered back to their enclosure, locking the gate behind them.

People are gluing themselves to things. Apparently this is to bring attention to climate change and the impact of fossil fuels. These are obviously very noble causes and ones that are vitally important to the future of the planet, but I’m not sure if gluing yourself to a road inconveniencing people trying to get to work, or more importantly urgently trying to get to a hospital, or gluing yourself to a priceless artwork is a great way to gain positive traction for your cause. I suggest these morons glue themselves to one of the aforementioned Elon Musk’s SpaceX rockets. That would deserve a tick.

©Steve Williams 2022

Freedom Day… frothy pokies… and segregation. WTAF?

Posted on by SW

As someone originally from Sydney, I followed yesterday’s so-called Freedom Day from a distance with some interest, hilarity and anger.

Blokes free to do blokey things

After 106 days in lockdown, it appeared Sydney-siders were desperate to queue up to get into a local club at the stroke of midnight to do their dough on the poker machines, cram into their local Kmart also at midnight to buy stuff they could’ve bought online at any stage in the past 106 days, drink copious amounts of beer and get a haircut… preferably simultaneously.

From the coverage I saw, it was men doing all of this. Weren’t the good womenfolk freed, or are they still back in 1953 doing the ironing Tony Abbott style?

There were joyous resurrection scenes of the new New South Wales Premier, fresh from a haircut (and possibly Kmart) rolling out the barrel at a pub, then drinking the contents while standing up, contravening his own government’s regulations… the standing up bit, not rolling out the barrel. The words “freedom frothie” were mentioned.  It was all very blokey, though there may have been someone with a uterus serving the beers, “I’ll have a schooner of cringe-worthy media stunts, thanks love.”

Premier Perrottet would have been better served doing his Freedom Day media bit from a hospital, thanking all the healthcare workers for their amazing and selfless work, but nah… a pub’s better for the telly and compulsory for Australian political leaders. 

Sadly and not surprisingly, yesterday didn’t mark freedom from fuckwits. 

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Anti-vaxxer nutjobs were out and about in force. Thankfully Freedom Day didn’t apply to them… the NSW government mandated that retail and hospitality could reopen, provided all staff and customers were fully vaccinated.

Some random dickhead at a café in Sydney’s inner west took exception to this and started abusing the barista how he was “walking implicitly into segregation”. LOL. If only he had walked implicitly into a fist.

“Segregation” must have been in the recent talking points faxed to anti-vaxxers, as Home and Away actor Sam Frost posted a tearful Instagram video in which she made the bizarre plea, “I hope that this segregation disappears and that people treat each other like human beings with kindness and compassion and empathy.” The world-renowned epidemiologist and soap star also listed reasons why people aren’t getting vaccinated, except her own.

Segregation? Seriously? Just FRO and get vaccinated. 

How’s the kindness, compassion and empathy?

©Steve Williams 2021