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Dear people of the world. I am puzzled by many things, but fairly high on the list is why people make/take phone calls while in/on the toilet.
Mr Bathroom Banana is an excellent “roll model”
Granted it’s probably not the worst sound you could hear emanating from a toilet cubicle, but seriously, why? Do you feel so important sitting on “the throne” that you need to take that call right then and there? Can’t you call them back? If you are that “busy” that you need to be on a toilet teleconference, you have major time management issues. I realise the mobile phone has now become essential for society to function, but surely bodily functions would have slightly more importance.
Really, how vital is that phone call? Unless you’re on speakerphone to an operating theatre directing how to perform emergency neurosurgery or the control tower has patched you in to talk a heroic passenger through landing an A380, it can wait.
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So the other day I bought a packet of chips (or crisps depending on what
hemisphere you are in). Earth-shattering news indeed, but I was quite perturbed — nay, outraged – that it was only, at best, three quarters full.
Definitely not this many spuds in my pathetic excuse for a packet
This evil act of bastardry isn’t confined to chips / crisps — extensive research (a very cursory glance around the stupid market) revealed many items — primarily in the sugar confectionary aisle, guilty as charged. Why are we paying for air? I would understand that concept if one was to sashay into one of those placebonic Oxygen Bars — which I think were so 2008 — but from memory, pathetically-not-even-attempting-to-be-full packets of sliced fried potatoes weren’t part of their raison d’être (apologies — I’ve always wanted to use that in a sentence — and also oeuvre*).
These benefits are enough to make ED treatment with these soft versions. buy cialis https://pdxcommercial.com/property/517-main-street-oregon-city-oregon-97045/ The color of Kamagra pill is different that that of the viagra 20mg in india because it is the rule of nature and change always comes for good. In the diagnosis of prostatitis, B ultrasonic examination B ultrasonic examination is a kind generic viagra cheap of routine examination in the diagnosis many kinds of male diseases. So, buy levitra wholesale drink pomegranate juice regularly to get rid of ED. I know things in general seem to shrink as age advances — words, numbers, pant, tolerance, unmentionables — but I believe this chip conspiracy is an affront to society.
I also believe a class action lawsuit should be lodged immediately, preferably by one of those law firms that advertises on TV at 3.12am, between infomercials for a plethora of “fitness” products including the not dubious at all Shake Weight, the hilarious and no doubt extremely effective Hawaii Chair and other destined-to-be-landfill products, that swear blindly couch potatoes can morph into Hugh Jackman by sitting on their fat arses stuffing their corpulent faces full of said chips / crisps. You in?
So it was a fantastic week for parenting. Seriously. One notable example showed that children are not only our future, but are in very good hands. Ok, one of those hands might be holding a semi-automatic pistol, or a pump-action shotgun, but that’s of little consequence.
“Pass the parcel” 2012 style
The story of eight-year-old kids having parties at a shooting range copped more of a barrage than a nude guy chomping on a face in Miami. Where’s the problem? It should be encouraged. What else are you going to do for a kid’s party? Bouncy castle in the backyard? BORING! Stretch limousine to a session with a beautician? PLEASE, SO 2003. McDonald’s party? WHAT? You’re going to let your kids eat that stuff? Haven’t you read those alarming reports on childhood obesity? Paintball? Nah, that’s just pretend for pussies. No, kids these days want to shoot stuff with real high-powered weapons. Not so much “pin the tail on the donkey” but “blow the f*ck out of the donkey”. Maybe that’s next, hunting birthday parties — preferably not limited to garden-variety Equus africanus asinus, but endangered species like Black Rhinos, or tigers (any brand will do). That would also get the children out and get them some fresh air.
The gentleman at the shooting range sounds as responsible as the parents, his only condition for would-be Dirty Harrys and Harriets — “You have to be tall enough to get above the shooting table”. See? Where’s the drama with that? Caring Mr Smith-Wesson doesn’t want little Tiaaanna coming home with a gaping hole where her left nostril used to be. Vacuum aids Those men, who have undergone surgical removal of prostate done for cialis tablets 100mg treatment of cancer, invariably develop erectile dysfunction. Bacteria and yeasts Read Full Report levitra online ferment indigested food particles with the formation of toxins and gases. Fatigue, tiredness and exhaustion are also managed in an effective way.This is generic tadalafil india not good when this is an exceptionally common condition connected with adrenal fatigue. That is not to say that purchase cialis online raindogscine.com everyone having these problems is impotent or vice versa.
A word of advice — just make sure little Trevor takes a really, really good present to the party. You don’t want to be around a disappointed, tearful eight-year-old wielding a Glock pistol…
