Tag: Ivermectin

Welcome to Anti-Vax Island!

Posted on by SW

Imagine if all the anti-vaxxers moved to their own island where they had all the freedom they have been demanding…

“Well hi, fellow anti-vaxxers!!

A big, we-all-know-COVID-is-bullshit welcome to Anti-Vax Island, our tropical sovereign resort paradise where we can finally express ourselves… with freedom from those vaccinated sheeples.

People have been dying to come here!

You won’t find any of these in the Anti-Vax Island minibar!

Right now, our lovely coughing, mask-less hostesses are serving your complimentary Anti-Vax Island welcome cocktail, ‘Giddy Up’… with 666 shots (sorry, I shouldn’t use that word) of Ivermectin and bleach.

First up, I would like to apologise for the lack of mobile phone reception on the island, obviously none of us have been injected with Bill Gates’ 5G towers.

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A special Anti-Vax Island welcome to you professional sportspeople, including NRL, AFL, NHL, MBL, NBL and tennis players… oh… a very special I-will-not-reveal-my-status-whether-I-have-been-vaccinated-or-not greeting to you Novax … you will be residing in our luxurious Vax-Vacillation Villa.

Karens, COVID deniers, Big Pharma conspiracy theorists, I am sovereigns, those who did their own research, New World Order aficionados, it only kills old people people, ‘You can’t tell me what to put in my body’ guests and those who think the COVID vaccine will make you magnetic… you don’t like being told what to do or think, so you will need to find your own accommodation on the island.

I’ll let you get settled in, then we’ll start our super-fun Anti-Vax Island activities!!

You’re going to love it!! We’ll be rewriting our DNA, learning to say ‘You can still transmit the virus even if you are vaccinated’ in ten different languages, a bible study class to prove Jesus wasn’t vaccinated, coming up with even more abusive terms for Chinese people, holding your breath for three days to prove you don’t have the Coronavirus, different ways to scream ‘SEGREGATION!!’ at café staff and finally… a cooking class on how to make delicious hydroxychloroquine meals with cow urine pairing.

So welcome again to Anti-Vax Island, where as the song says, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”

©Steve Williams 2021

Melbourne protests – the neighs have it

Posted on by SW

The ongoing construction worker protests in Melbourne are one of those ever-increasing moments when the lines between satire and reality are blurred.

“WHADDAWEWANT?! Um… dunno… smoko… ivermectin… somethin’ somethin’…” *sets armpit on fire*

For those who came in late, construction workers have been protesting / rioting throughout Melbourne’s CBD against having to prove they are vaccinated against COVID-19 before being allowed to work on building sites. 

Yes, protesting against something that is in their own and their industry’s benefit.

There was also something about not having access to “tea rooms”. The idea of big boofy blokes in de rigueur high-vis vests, quietly sipping on a lovely Earl Grey out of Wedgwood fine bone china in a quaint tea room awash with Laura Ashley décor and doilies is rather amusing.

“BUT WHERE WE GUNNA HAVE FUCKIN SMOKO?”, some bloke screamed as he kicked a police car… I thought the word “smoko” had died a justifiable death in 1953.

What isn’t amusing is the violence…  especially yesterday and today.

Protesters, whipped up by far-right nutjobs have been running rampant in city streets, shutting down the city, vandalising their own union office, kicking a dog and assaulting police and media including throwing urine at them. 

Speaking of taking the piss, there was a “list of demands” which I seriously thought was satirical, but apparently isn’t. Among an amusingly bizarre shopping list of demands including ending lockdowns, ending mask and vaccine mandates… blah blah blah… is the resignation of the Premier Daniel Andrews and mass distribution of Ivermectin. No chance fellas… the neighs have it.

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I was surprised the demands didn’t include compulsory 7 litre bottles of Coke and mandatory display of builder’s crack.

Below are said protestor’s demands. Yes, seriously.

Premier Daniel Andrews to resign? Mass distribution of Ivermectin? No chance fellas… the neighs have it.

Here’s a new set of demands via @TheShovel… they actually make more sense…

While we’re talking horses, the protests took an absolutely farcical turn today when the testy tradies stormed the West Gate Bridge and triumphantly started singing the classic protest song “The Horses” by Daryl Braithwaite. 

The Melbourne protests are yet another milestone for Braithwaite’s powerful call to arms, first sung by the suffragettes in 1914 and at rallies held by Martin Luther King Jr, Nelson Mandela and Vietnam War protests. The rallying chorus makes you want to grab a pitchfork and flaming torch… “That’s the way it’s gonna be, little darlin’ /
You go riding on the horses, yeah.”

Nobody has any (tea and) sympathy for these piss-throwing, dog-kicking morons, considering the good people of Melbourne are clawing their way out of the 102th COVID-19 lockdown and these protests could put them right smack bang back in another one. 

©Steve Williams 2021

COVID-19… taking the piss

Posted on by SW

Now, where was I?

What a time. What an absolute clusterfuck.

Betsy enjoyed her lip-smacking Ivermectin

With slightly dodgy lungs, I’ve been desperately trying to avoid attracting the attention of the COVID-19 lurgy. So far so good… and thankfully now fully vaccinated, I’m still alert but not alarmed. 

Though sadly, like the rest of us, I haven’t been able to avoid nutjob anti-vaxxers, rabid anti-mask wearers and the heart-worming stories of people who think it’s a brilliant idea to combat COVID-19 by overdosing on the anti-parasitic agent Ivermectin, commonly used to treat animals… usually very large ones such as cows and horses.

You have to wonder who was the first person to try Ivermectin? “You know what Trevor? You know how Ivermectin cleared up Betsy’s heartworm, I reckon it’ll be good for my pesky COVID-19 cough, so I’m gonna whiz up an Ivermectin milkshake.” 

Yes, Ivermectin is just the latest in seriously fucked up COVID-19 “treatments” and “cures”. 

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There’s been anti-static clothing, “nano-silver” toothpaste, necklaces to ward off COVID-19 (sans vampire-warding off garlic I assume), a German vaccine beer, an anti-corona mattress, virus-killing deodorant, even activewear brand Lorna Jane claimed its boffins had come up with “LJ Shield Activewear” sprayed with “groundbreaking technology” that could protect wearers against “viruses including COVID-19”. Spoiler alert: It couldn’t and the company was whacked $5 million by the Australian Federal Court. 

Who could forget the orange former US president suggesting disinfectant and ultraviolet light could be handy protection against COVID-19? That seems like several lifetimes ago. I wonder what he would make of a wellness influencer touting the benefits of 30 seconds of sun on your butthole. The mental image of a nude Trump, legs akimbo, saluting the sun is not to anyone’s benefit.

But wait, there’s more. An Indian politician suggested drinking cow urine, unfortunately he wasn’t taking the piss. Then there was Belarus President Alexander Lukashenko who apparently suggested driving a tractor and drinking alcohol will prevent COVID-19, though I’m not sure if he meant simultaneously.

Unfortunately, when you combine ignorance, desperation and in a lot of cases rampant stupidity and throw in the viral impact of misinformation from seriously fucked up Facebook groups, bizarre YouTube videos and conspiracy theorists on radio and TV screaming at gullible people, you get a deadly cocktail.   

I’ll stick to the science, thanks.

Though in the words of John Denver, sunshine on my butthole may make me happy.

©Steve Williams 2021