Tag: China

Emoji all the people*

Posted on by SW

It seems like we have gone full circle.

Man (and woman) first started communicating in a written form over 30,000 ago with cave paintings, depicting animals and rudimentary images of humans. Graffiti was born.

Fast-forward to around 5000 BC and Egyptian and Chinese cultures communicated (amongst themselves) with pictograms and ideograms that represented an object, activity or concept.
These led to Egyptian hieroglyphics and Chinese characters. So far, so good. Then around 3200 BC, the good burghers of Mesopotamia thought it wouldn’t be a stupid idea to start writing words, and the rest as they say, is history.

So how do we communicate in 2016? Emojis, that’s how. I read an article the other day that “emoji” is the world’s fastest growing language. <face screaming in fear emoji>

Blame one Shigetaka Kurita. The unassuming Japanese chap produced 176 designs for Japanese mobile phones in 1999. There are now over 1,800 emojis. Possibly 1,790 too many.

From cave paintings to hieroglyphics to emoji — maybe we should have just left out the middle bit, making the world’s greatest writers redundant. In the annals of literary history, we could have just leafed past the work of Homer, Shakespeare, Dickens, Tolstoy, Wilde, Austen, Orwell, Hemmingway, Jackie Collins… ok, maybe not her.

It is introduced in pills that are suggested by the doctors or the pills which are suggested to them by their friends or neighbours or the people who are already undergoing viagra for sale canada the issue. When your practice is complete, attempt the DMV practice tests a number cialis line prescription of times. We all understand that sex is an cialis uk essential requirement for a healthy and happy relationship. The disorders can be hormonal changes generic levitra from india in aging men and can restrict blood flow, and therefore a methodology to erection brokenness and additionally a hoisted capacity for intercourse. Speaking of classic novels, The United States Library of Congress has accepted its first emoji novel — a reworking of Herman Melville’s classic Moby-Dick. It has been 2016-ised into Emoji Dick with the 212,000+ words converted to emoji. I don’t know whether to be horrified or impressed.

The recent breathless launch of the iPhone 7 included new emojis, “women playing sport”, “woman in a turban”, the gun emoji has apparently become a water pistol, there’s now a “man getting a haircut”, and a “man wearing bunny ears”. As one does, though not simultaneously. There is now basically every type of parent / child / gender / family emoji you can poke a stick at. I assume there is still a stick emoji for the iPhone 7. I’d personally prefer a headphone jack emoji.

Being an iPhone person, I assume other smartphones have their own emoji, including an explosion emoji for a certain Samsung smartphone. <smiley, winking face, poking out tongue emoji>

We survived the rise of mobile phone text-speak, which wasn’t all that GR8, you often had no idea what the hell other person meant. I’d normally just ring them up and get them to explain it. Which kind of defeated the purpose.

It will be interesting to see where all this emoji business ends up. I suppose one day we will be reading online newspapers and magazines written in emoji form, though I suggest that will be when we are in our autonomous flying cars eating our food tablets.

*Apologies to John Lennon for that atrocious headline.

©Steve Williams 2016

*This piece also appeared in The Huffington Post Australia: Emoji All The People

Yulin Dog Meat “Festival”, Brexit, Trump… #FFS

Posted on by SW

“I turned another year older recently, and in light of recent global events I have been thinking of the poignant Queen song “Is This the World We Created?” A fair question.

In no particular order, these are just a few of the random things seriously disturbing me.

Thankfully not on the Yulin menu

The “Yulin Dog Meat Festival” in China. For once, words almost fail me with this one. The name is sickeningly self-explanatory, however the word “festival” is a total misnomer. An annual event, the mind-fucking barbarity these poor animals are subjected to before the inevitable is forged from the utter bowels of depravity. It takes a hell of a lot to shock me, but the images I have encountered researching this cannot be unseen. These bastards need to be stopped. Ricky Gervais has been a champion in attacking the Yulin Dog Meat Festival, using a five letter word ending in “s” to describe the perpetrators. I couldn’t agree more.

Donald Trump.

The sick bastard in Western Australia who was jailed for a pathetic twenty-two years for raping his daughter over two years starting when she was only 11. If that doesn’t make your skin crawl, he also pimped her out to six other men. There was video and bondage gear involved. How do you even begin to fathom this? As a father, you can’t even start. He told police, “I’m going to be honest, it was fun while it lasted but it went way over the line.” A bullet to the brain would be too good for this monster. Twenty-two years is nothing compared to the life sentence the girl will have to endure. I hope she is getting all the love and support she needs. I hope the father only lasts an extremely painful 3.7 seconds in prison.

Hence, when impotence condition takes place, which affects their interest viagra generico cipla and intimacy with partner. Treatments for ED include levitra generika lifestyle changes, such as shedding extra kilos, cut on booze, quitting smoking, worked great in solving ED problem in a British study. You do not have to go far to enjoy different flavors of ginseng tea, rather you can enjoy your power booster sitting in the comforts of your home. order cheap viagra Many researchers have proclaimed that pelvic-floor exercise is the universal remedy for keeping oneself healthy and protects them from any viagra viagra amerikabulteni.com health disease. Donald Trump.

That nut job in Orlando — again a wannabe zealot hijacking religion and using his twisted fucked up beliefs to justify his slaughter. The blood-soaked scene of carnage du jour was a gay nightclub, however as we have tragically seen over the years, the killing grounds have included schools, shopping centres, cinemas, concert venues, even a chocolate branded cafe in Sydney. A flow on subset of problems here. Bleedingly (literally) obvious question… How can anyone walk into a gun shop and buy a military style weapon with no questions asked? Why does anyone NEED to walk into a gun shop and buy a military style weapon? It doesn’t make sense. Those mad fuckers at the NRA bang on about the Second Amendment, but that was ratified in 1791. Back then, massacre-inducing automatic weapons would have been some gunsmith’s wet dream.

Donald Trump.

Brexit. So much anger so little time. The ignorant racism, the xenophobia. The shame-faced lies of politicians and lobbyists. Mostly, the morons who, hours after voting to leave it were Googling “what is the EU?” Google reported that the search “what happens if we leave the EU?” tripled AFTER the vote. This woman needs to get in the sea…”Even though I voted to leave, this morning I woke up and I just — the reality did actually hit me, If I’d had the opportunity to vote again, it would be to stay.” Face palm. The right to vote is one of the greatest things we have, and these people are just pissing it up against a wall. Be careful what you wish for…

<rant ends>

©Steve Williams 2016

Gird Your Loins… When Testicle Eaters Attack!

Posted on by SW

One has to admit it has been quite an eventful few months in the endless battle of nature vs a gentleman’s downstairs department with the unveiling of a testicle-eating fish.

Christmas comes early for the nefarious nut-cracking fish

The horror began in July, when the alleged ball-biter was discovered in a lake in Illinois. Strange, because it is native to the Amazon — the fish, not the balls.

The frequent-flying, family jewels-fancier was identified as a Pacu, which according to one website is an acronym of Penis Amputating Castrations Underwater, and was allegedly invented by a militant group of lesbian atheists handy with genetics. This has not been proved conclusively.

Ancient folklore suggests that the privates-pinching Pacu killed two men in Papua New Guinea by gulping down their goolies.

Terror then ensued. The scrotum-stealing Pacu was spotted in Denmark, resulting in a professor at the Copenhagen Museum of Natural History warning against skinny dipping, revealing that the fish has extremely strong teeth which it uses to crush seeds and er, nuts.
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Sightings of the knacker-knibbling fish were then reported in Sweden and Paris with alerts that the bollock-biter was headed for the UK. An official government broadcast advised men to keep their love-spuds under lock and key.

Frighteningly, it’s not only nautical nut-crackers men need to be nervous about. Fast forward to September and a baby enjoying a pleasant day at a zoo in China had his man-tonsils mistaken for Mongolian Beef by a marauding monkey.

Following these terrifying testicular attacks, it’s not surprising that a report this week suggested that the size of man’s marbles relates to what kind of a paternal figure he is. Bullshit. Frightened fathers are obviously concerned that their cojones are going to be consumed by nugget-gnawing fish and / or monkeys.

That wise sage Kenny Rogers was right, “you gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to walk away, and when to run.” I’m running.

©Steve Williams 2013

Random Swill cityscapes #1

Posted on by SW

A few random cityscapes that have been caught in the light of my camera…

Images ©Steve Williams 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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