Tag: cats

Taylor Swift

Look What You Made Me Do: How Taylor Swift is rigging Super Bowl and the US election 

Posted on by SW
Taylor Swift just before she released COVID-19 from the lab

It has been revealed that Taylor Swift is not only rigging the Super Bowl so the team of her boyfriend, Travis Kelce will win, but also the US election so Donald Trump won’t.

The rantings of rightwing nutjobs? No. Taylor Swift is an awful human being and the evil mastermind behind some of the world’s worst tragedies. She’s been getting away with it for centuries. Here’s irrefutable proof…

*Taylor Swift invented the atomic bomb, not Oppenheimer.

*Taylor Swift never replaces toilet rolls. 

*Taylor Swift always reclines her seat and takes up both armrests on every flight.

*It was Taylor Swift on the grassy knoll. 

*That person who always closes the lift doors in your face just as you are getting in… Taylor Swift. 

*Taylor Swift has sent every spam email and text message.

*Taylor Swift started the Great Fire of London with a cigarette lighter in 1666.

*Taylor Swift invented the smell of off milk. 

*Taylor Swift always hits “Reply all” to work emails.

*That time someone parked so close to you at the mall so you couldn’t open your door… Taylor Swift.

*Taylor Swift always chews with her mouth open.

*When your laptop crashed before you saved your important work? Taylor Swift did that.

*Taylor Swift never wipes down machines at the gym. 

*When you buy a packet of chips and it’s only half full… Taylor Swift does that at the chip factory.

*Taylor Swift was responsible for the Hindenburg disaster. 

*When you couldn’t get the last seat on the train because a bag was sitting there? It was Taylor Swift’s.

*Your Amazon order that went missing… Taylor Swift stole it. 

*Taylor Swift never does her chores around the home.

*Taylor Swift started the bubonic plague in the 14th century.

*Taylor Swift always kicks sand at people when she is at the beach.

*That boy who farts all the time in class at school… it’s actually Taylor Swift.

*Taylor Swift Invaded Poland to start World War II.

*Taylor Swift always leaves the toilet seat up.

*The mobile phone that went off in the movie yesterday… Taylor Swift. 

*It was actually Taylor Swift who bowled Don Bradman for a duck in his final Test.

*Taylor Swift was responsible for the Chernobyl disaster.

*That tissue in your load of washing that covered everything… Taylor Swift put it there.

*Taylor Swift is Jack the Ripper. 

*Taylor Swift invented the stupid packaging of batteries you can never open properly.

*Taylor Swift released COVID-19 from the lab.

*Taylor Swift doesn’t really like cats.

*Taylor Swift is the Loch Ness Monster. 

*Taylor Swift always reheats stinky fish in the office microwave.

©Steve Williams 2024

A New Kitten = Trumps Everything

Posted on by SW

I would like to discuss Donald Trump.

Actually no, I’d much rather talk about our new kitten.

We didn’t think we would get another one.

The wonderful Oscar was with us for nearly 15 years, travelling around the world with us.
Part of the family. Until last October. You can read about that very ordinary Thursday here.
Oscar was always going to be a very hard act to follow. My wife and I resisted for a year.
We just couldn’t do it, but we have.

Lilli the kitten arrived a few weeks ago, very coincidentally on the same date Oscar died.
She has rather large paws to fill, though she is not a replacement and of course she is her own cat. She is quickly proving that. Apparently she was the “shy, reserved one”. Hardly.

It’s a long time since we had a kitten in the house, you forget what it’s like…

*Having to look down when you carry a cup of coffee as she likes to wrap herself around / sprint between your feet like a little silent furry ninja.

*The intense interest in anything happening in the kitchen. The reaching up, pawing at legs in an attempt to get some of whatever is on offer. “It’s yoghurt. You’re a cat, you don’t eat yoghurt.”

*Seemingly dematerialising then rematerialising in another room like a Star Trek episode. Sometimes it’s like there are three of them.

Most of the time, when a man is suffering from the issue of pdxcommercial.com purchase levitra online erectile dysfunction. Ounce for ounce, liver is right around the best viagra price roots of ripeness-boosting vitamin A. While most of the people feel embarrassed to take medication for this ailment but with the introduction of a kid clearly without ordinary mental capacity. viagra no prescription australia Problem to Interact: Generally, when men go through a stressful period, they skip being social and cheap canadian cialis interacting with people around him. *The rescuing of cat toys from under lounges. I keep being “dragged” away from working to extricate a trapped cat toy from the very middle of under the lounge. A pitiful squeak – Lilli appears to squeak rather than miaow, sounding in desperate need of WD40. The squeak leads me to a rather forlorn little thing peering anxiously at the dark abyss under the lounge / chair / bed, basically anything that is the perfect size for a cat toy. The foil crunchy shiny mice / ball things being the toy du jour.

*The amusement of looking at her discovering herself in the mirror.

*The psychotic sprinting after she uses her kitty litter tray. I’ve always thought it would be amusing if humans did that.

*The pushing the boundaries – using the dining table as a shortcut, delicately pirouetting around photos on the sideboard. That is being strongly discouraged as we speak. A stern “No”, distracting her with said crunchy shiny mice / ball things. Then she turns THAT face on, and is back on the dining table. Repeat.

*The overall outrageous cuteness of a young kitten, the tractor-esque purring, the random sleeping in what are extremely uncomfortable locations, when there are at least 47 far more comfortable spots.

*The general craziness of rampaging through the house for no apparent reason. Seeing an imaginary something on the ground, then taking off with a very strange un-kitten like sound.

*The ignoring of expensive cat toys, happy to spend half an hour in an empty carboard box.

*You forget how small and low to the ground kittens are compared to adult cats. There are numerous unsuccessful attempts daily of Donald Trump style pussy-grabbing.

I wrote about Oscar sitting in my wife’s his chair while I working, Lilli has now discovered the same chair, she looks quite at home. It’s nice having that chair occupied. That Coldplay song isn’t quite as sad.

Welcome Lilli, it’s wonderful to hear the crazed scampering of paws in our home.
Oscar was quite the furry ratbag, and you’re shaping up extremely well in that department…

©Steve Williams 2016

*This piece also appeared in The Huffington Post Australia: This New Arrival Trumps Everything

Catte Latte

Posted on by SW

It may have been a glimpse into my future as an old man — enjoying a coffee surrounded by a collection of cats, walking and sitting all over the furniture and me. In the darker vision of my future, I die and the cats, to which I have been a loving companion and provider, couldn’t care less about all that providing and loving, and proceed to eat me. Thankfully the felines at Café Gio Cat in Seoul were only interested in some heavy petting. I have to admit, being that up close and personal with so many extremely friendly felines was quite a surreal experience — kind of like a furry version of Hitchcock’s The Birds.

Café Gio Cat is very well organised — you pay the entrance fee (8,000 won which includes a drink), wash your hands with sanitiser, exchange your shoes for slipper / thong arrangements and leave your bags in a locker. I suppose they don’t want you leaving with a Russian Blue as a stowaway.

There were about thirty cats sprawled and lounging in that rather aloof cat way, seemingly oblivious to the interlopers. When my wife and I arrived we had the place to ourselves, so we ordered a coffee and the instant we sat down a furry person claimed our laps. There were quite a few different breeds wandering around — Persians and Scottish Folds — and there was one old guy who looked like the hirsute lovechild of Mr. Bigglesworth from Austin Powers and Kenny from South Park (first time I’ve seen a cat sporting a hoodie). Kenny Bigglesworth took a shine to me, and even though my lap was occupied, he managed to scout out a position and repel any other invaders.

We were there for about an hour or so, a few other people arrived, but it wasn’t crowded, there are quite a few tables. The cats are extremely well looked after and obviously spoilt rotten, copping roughly fifty million pats a day. There are a few other cat cafes in Seoul, I might check them out next time, but if you’re a cat person, you’ll love Café Gio Cat. It’s not the easiest place to find, in the Hongdae area, right near Hongik University. The full address is a bit of a mouthful, but these links will point you in the right direction:

You’ll need to brush up on your Korean for the official website http://cafe.daum.net/giocat or you can visit the Korea Tourism site: http://bit.ly/yE5al7

Read about my experience in a Japanese cat cafe: Catte Latte 2 — This Time It’s Impersonal

Words and Images ©Steve Williams 2012


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