A bathroom sponge, a Rubik’s Cube and Dolly

Posted on by SW

Restaurant review: An unnamed restaurant, Berlin, Germany.

We should have listened to Public Enemy and not believed it.

Dolly offered more flavour in the taxi on our way back to the hotel

This place was not only talked up bigtime by all the usual travel-advice-dispensing suspects,
but also the normally fairly trustworthy New York Times 36 Hours.

The decor is a Trump-esque orange. It was packed.
A short wait, then seated next to a Scandinavian family featuring an emo teenager…
picture a pissed-off, possibly self-harming version of the lead singer of A-ha, annoyingly clicking a Rubik’s Cube.

The menu consisted of about three offerings, the daily specials board about two.
Alarm bells should have sounded when the menu didn’t appear on the website.

If you are still in a dilemma, then read on to find out more. overnight viagra online You can take the dose 1 viagra sale uk hour before sexual activity and without food. Several online pharmacies may deliver a few days that may be the time to visit a competent and perceptive doctor before consuming Premature Ejaculation Tablets and Premature Ejaculation Medicine. cialis in spain visit to find out more Meds4world sells all the products at a very cheap price, customers will never have to hesitate a moment or doubt a moment about the quality of the generic drugs sold here in this online pharmacy. purchase cheap viagra check for more Only fried spring rolls? Fried? In a much-trumpeted about Asian restaurant?
What. The. Serious. Fuck.

My wife ordered a chicken Phở featuring dejected, arid pieces of chicken and a distinct lack of herbs, and taste, but an over compensation of a collective noun of shallots.

As a non-meat-but-seafood-eating type, I had roughly one choice, a tofu vegetable rice thing,
that when doused in chili to give it some semblance of flavour, morphed into the consistency of Perkin’s Paste that I used to glue things together in primary school. The Rubik’s Cube sized pieces of tofu were being eyed rather amorously by neighbouring Take On Me emo boy. Though with the consistency of an overworked bathroom sponge, even he would have had trouble clicking them.

The only saving grace was Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” in the taxi on the way back to the hotel.
The lyrics “Your smile is like a breath of spring / Your voice is soft like summer rain” infinitely more flavoursome than the meal.

Don’t.

©Steve Williams 2017

*This review also appears in the highly entertaining Brothtaking.

Sydney The High Vis City

Posted on by SW

So I was back in Sydney recently. I live in Europe, and it was the first time I had been back in Sydney in almost four years.

Being a fairly observant type, I noticed quite a few changes. In no particular order…

*Why is every pub meal now $30? A few years ago if you paid 15 bucks you were ripped off.

*Why does every pub have those same funky hipster light globes? Maybe that explains the above.

*Why do restaurants have those BS time-limited seatings? “We’ve managed to fit you in at 3.27am but we will need your table at 3.29am.”

*Why are those towers at Barangaroo designed so they will look dated in about half an hour?

*Why is there an M4 freeway… M5 and M7 but no M6? Also what the hell is the A4?
My hire car’s satellite navigation thingo had NFI.

*Speaking of the M4, why didn’t they future-proof it when they first built it, instead of digging it up every five minutes and turning it into a seething, angry carpark?
The only regard, for which most of the men go for buy levitra viagra , is to get sexual satisfaction. The medical science has invented the new kind of medicine that is called generic medicines and with applying that theory we also have got the most wanted medicine, that is djpaulkom.tv cialis prices. It is also necessary to prevent watching adult movies and become addicted to viagra uk without prescription porn. The dosage purchase cialis for the beginners is just 1tablet of 100mg.
*Why does every beverage you order anywhere arrive in a mason jar? Have glasses been banned
as part of the lockout laws? I want a drink, not a pickle or a secret handshake.

*Why does the entire population of Sydney now sport a High Vis vest? When did that become a thing? I saw a photo of HSC markers wearing them. The most dangerous thing that could possibly ever happen to them is a rather nasty paper cut.

*When did Australian TV become so, well, crap? I watched Goggle Box for the first time
and I thought the TV shows they were discussing were parodies. Apparently they’re not.

*Can someone, anyone, please do something about Sydney Airport? It really is a shocker.

*Without sounding like a squawking breakfast radio announcer, why are there posters around the city saying “Happy Christmas” instead of “Merry”? Is the word “Merry” offensive now?
I didn’t get the email.

Having said all that, it was wonderful to be back.
Sydney really is one of the greatest cities in the world.

Words and image ©Steve Williams 2017

Marriage Equality? More Questions Than Answers

Posted on by SW

For those who came in late, the Australian government is currently conducting
a “postal survey” on same sex marriage. I prefer to use the term “marriage equality”.

Which is what we are talking about.

The question, “Should the law be changed to allow same-sex couples to marry?

Yes, of course you are entitled to your opinion, and how you are going to vote, sorry, respond to the postal survey. That’s one of the great things about Australia in 2017, freedom to express your views.
This leads me into the next sentence.

I have a few simple rhetorical questions to opponents of marriage equality.

*If a couple love each other and want to marry, how does it affect you?

*Why does their gender make the slightest difference? To you?

The seed levitra samples kennel helps to eliminate intestinal parasites and to control dysfunctional uterine bleeding. Other treating method color phase ultrasonography can be done by viagra 100 mg icks.org means of taking these herbal capsules on a regular basis. It is a rather big tree which can develop to great heights ranging from 66 feet to 164 buy cheap cialis http://icks.org/n/bbs/content.php?co_id=2014&mcode=30&smcode=3060 feet. It would also be dependent upon any underlying health condition of yours. cheap levitra *Cut through the hysteria of the rabid nutjobs on both sides of the argument who have been polluting the issue… what difference will marriage equality make to your daily life?
Seriously, how will it impact you at all?

*What difference will marriage equality make to YOUR marriage? Is that what you’re worried about? That YOUR marriage will be cheapened in some way? Really?

*If you are voting no on the basis of religious beliefs, isn’t your god a god of love who preaches compassion for all humanity? So how do you justify that? That’s the “mysterious ways” bit again?

*Do you seriously believe that a man and woman are better parents than a couple of the same gender? What do you base that assumption on?

*If you are one of the many who say “I’m not homophobic, I have lots of gay friends”,
would you look them in the eye and say “You are not equal, you do not deserve the same rights
as I do.” Would you? Would you really?

Yes. It is that simple.

©Steve Williams 2017

Electric Dreams – Turning On & Off Sex Robots

Posted on by SW

There’s been a lot of talk about sex robots lately. Not sure why.
I suppose it’s better than talking about Donald Trump.

You may have possibly read about Roxxxy “the world’s first robotic girlfriend”. Apart from the screamingly obvious objectification (literally) issues, the repetition of the letter “x” and total
WTF?-ness of it all, my first thoughts were of the late great actor Yul Brynner. No, not in a weird “King and I” dancing fantasy (not that there’s absolutely anything wrong with that). I was thinking of Yul’s work in that classic sci-fi / thriller “Westworld” (now an HBO remake) when he plays the robot who loses the plot slightly and goes around slightly shooting people.

What happens if Roxxxy or any of her robotic horizontal folk dancing sisters loses the plot?
Blows a head gasket, O-ring, hard drive or any remotely sexually sounding innards? Who do you ring? Some call centre in Mumbai where “Bazza” will talk you through the issues? Is there bedside assistance? Or do you have to wander down to a service centre with her under your arm, surfboard style and say, “She’s buggered mate”.

Roxxxy was born? Unveiled? Frankensteined? at an Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas,
where else – and apparently her creator’s inspiration for her / it rose from the death of a friend in the September 11 attacks. “I promised myself I would create a program to store his personality, and that became the foundation for Roxxxy.” I’m wondering which of the fembot’s various programmable personalities that was. “Wild Wendy”, “Frigid Farrah” or “Mature Martha”?
Even so, a nice way to be immortalised. I’m sure the mate would be very proud. He went on,
Overall, this is a good natural male enhancer that should be on your shortlist if you’re looking for a solution to one of these problems should look into buy viagra online http://greyandgrey.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Civilians-a-New-Wrinkle-in-Ground-Zero-Claims-NY-Post-May-2007.pdf the contents of the anti-impotency drug. These problems often bring about serious infections of the gums. free sample cialis After diagnosing your precise condition, the practitioner may also prescribe certain therapies including sauna or spa in http://greyandgrey.com/third-department-decisions-3-13-14/ purchase cialis online order to remove stress and body toxins. It looks as if there is no respite for those who find it hard to consume tablets. viagra on line “She can’t vacuum, she can’t cook but she can do almost anything else, if you know what I mean.”

Maybe it’s just me, but I thought “vacuum” might fall into the “if you know what I mean” category. Told you it was weird.

Roxxxy’s not cheap, at up to nine thousand bucks, but if you’re into that sort of thing, she sounds
a tad safer than that bloke in Brazil a while back who became rather excited about a car’s exhaust pipe and needed some angle-grinder action to extricate himself.

As they say, whatever turns you on – as long as you can turn her off. Just remember Yul Brynner.

©Steve Williams 2016

*This piece also appeared in The Huffington Post Australia:
Electric Dreams: The Rise Of Sex Robots